Dallas hotels request National Guard. Switzer requests more ice.
Adolphus braces for the 1985 revival as CRTs and flat screens enter the same transfer portal.
DALLAS — Downtown hotel managers convened an emergency meeting after learning that Barry Switzer’s plan to recreate 1985 included both the furniture and its traditional exit routes.
The Adolphus, serving as unofficial headquarters for the revival, has reportedly quadrupled security deposits and begun asking guests whether their luggage contains a remote control from another property.
“We are prepared for a busy rivalry weekend,” one manager said. “We are less prepared for a guest to ask which side of the building gets the best television reception on the pavement.”
All eras welcome
Organizers confirmed that old tube sets and new flat screens will participate together. Switzer initially objected to modern equipment, then conceded that a television should not be punished simply because it had been born after the wishbone.
“One of those smart ones asked me to accept the terms,” he said. “I told it the terms were Dallas ’85.”
Mattress Mack has supplied a towering landing zone in an empty cordoned-off area below the festivities. His accountants are debating whether this makes the inventory damaged goods or an experiential marketing expense.
The Boz has requested a wind report, a loading dock and a ruling on whether hotel loyalty points transfer with the set.
Please remain calm and indoors
The hotel association requested emergency assistance. Switzer returned the message with an ice order and a note asking whether the National Guard could bring folding tables.
Managers say they will seek payment for every missing item. Switzer says he respects the process and has created a separate poker table for invoice disputes.
At press time, a guest watching the weather channel reported that the forecast had abruptly become much more local.
