Stringgate: Alcaraz upset in Shanghai, suspects Djokovic tampered with racquet strings

SHANGHAI — Carlos Alcaraz demanded a full equipment investigation following his loss to Zizou Bergs, conceding that the Belgian played an excellent match “against a man who had unknowingly been handed a $300 dream catcher.”

“The racquet felt normal this morning,” Alcaraz said. “Then I hit my first forehand and the strings whispered ‘24.’”

Alcaraz initially declined to identify a suspect, saying he would let investigators do their work before immediately requesting that they investigate Novak Djokovic.

Djokovic denied sabotaging the equipment, explaining that he had merely “removed the gluten” from Alcaraz’s strings.

“Carlos puts too much tension on himself,” Djokovic said. “I thought perhaps we could remove some from the racquet also. Now he is free. The ball is free. Everything is going into the stands.”

Tournament officials became suspicious after discovering that the stringing machine’s standard settings had been replaced with COMFORT, CONTROL, and HUMBLE THE LITTLE BASTARD.

The incident threatens to escalate the pair’s ongoing feud following allegations that Alcaraz previously slipped extra vitamin C into Djokovic’s drink.

“That was completely different,” Alcaraz insisted. “At worst, he was going to feel better.”

Bergs, meanwhile, briefly interrupted the discussion to ask whether anyone wanted to hear about his actual tennis.

Officials assured him they would return to that once they determined why Carlos’s spare racquet had been strung with dental floss.

At press time, Djokovic was asked whether he had personally adjusted the tension.

“Only until it respected its elders.”