Sinner’s elaborate Shanghai disguise ruined by giant tennis bag that says “SINNER”
Blonde-and-blue hair, gold teeth, a giant chain, and a bag of Skittles. Just a regular guy who thinks Jannik Sinner would have won this.
SHANGHAI — Jannik Sinner’s attempt to quietly watch the Shanghai Masters unraveled Wednesday after spectators noticed that the man with shoulder-length blonde-and-blue hair, gold teeth, and a giant gold chain had brought a tennis bag with “SINNER” printed across it.
The spectator, who introduced himself as “Chad Skittles,” insisted he was simply a casual fan enjoying an afternoon of tennis in his “SWAT ’EM” shirt.
“I do not know this Jannik,” he said, pushing a handful of Skittles past an apparently removable set of gold teeth. “But technically his backhand is perfect, and I think he would have won this.”
Witnesses said the disguise might have worked if the bag had not occupied an entire second seat, contained several professionally strung racquets, and displayed an accreditation badge reading “JANNIK SINNER.”
Asked why a regular tourist needed that much equipment, Chad became defensive.
“My wife also plays.”
Suspicions grew as the man spent three changeovers writing return patterns on the back of a Skittles packet and quietly correcting the positioning of players he claimed never to have heard of.
“He kept saying, ‘I would have taken that earlier,’” said a spectator seated nearby. “Then he corrected himself to, ‘Sinner would have taken that earlier.’ Then he offered me a purple one and asked me to stop talking.”
Tournament security finally approached after a ball landed in the stands and the mystery fan immediately stood up, bounced it six times, and began his service routine.
“That is just how Chad throws things back,” he explained.
His exit was delayed when the enormous chain became tangled in a racquet handle. During the struggle, a security officer asked whether he would prefer to leave through the players’ entrance.
“Yes, the usual one,” he replied, before adding, “which I have never used.”
At press time, the remaining players had circulated his photograph in a group chat titled “DO NOT FUCK THIS UP” and requested written confirmation that Chad Skittles was not eligible to enter as a lucky loser.
