Brewers support staff: “All we're packing is Miller”
Milwaukee horrified to discover Dodgers clubhouse stocks only wine. “We're here to play baseball, not attend a damn vineyard tour.”
MILWAUKEE — As the Brewers prepare for their next showdown with Los Angeles, team support staff have confirmed that the traveling party will be packing light.
“No extra uniforms, no fancy equipment, no scouting reports. All we're packing is Miller,” one equipment manager declared.
“We heard the Dodgers clubhouse only has wine. Wine! What the hell are we supposed to do with that? We're the Milwaukee Brewers, not the Napa Valley Sommeliers.”
Sources say the equipment truck has been completely reconfigured to accommodate 400 cases of Miller Lite, three industrial ice machines, and a backup keg in case the series goes seven games.
When informed that the Dodgers offer a selection of premium California Cabernet Sauvignon, one Milwaukee staffer reportedly responded:
“Can you shotgun a Cabernet? Didn't think so.”
Brewers officials insist the shipment has nothing to do with competitive advantage.
“It's about maintaining our culture. Those guys have Ohtani. We've got Miller. Everybody plays to their strengths.”
