Don’t need winning seasons to get big bucks
College football’s newest strategy: get paid first, figure out the winning part later

Athletic departments across the country are reportedly reconsidering the increasingly outdated idea that coaches should actually win football games before receiving enormous contracts.
One anonymous administrator explained the modern philosophy:
“Waiting for results introduces unnecessary risk. We prefer to reward the possibility of future results immediately.”
Several schools are now rumored to be studying contracts featuring automatic raises for recruiting tweets, spring-game attendance and “looking confident while wearing a quarter-zip.”


