Venables fires back: “Should have to play at the State Fair of Oklahoma”
Fairness, livestock barns and a suspiciously familiar substitute Sark.
NORMAN, OK — Brent Venables has proposed a solution to the rivalry’s latest scheduling crisis: if Texas wants a fair environment, Oklahoma has a perfectly good fair of its own.
“Everybody talks about neutral ground,” he said. “I’m talking about ground with a livestock pavilion and competitively priced parking.”
The proposed stadium would sit somewhere between the giant fryer and a demonstration of replacement windows. Officials have not yet determined whether the marching band could clear the tractor exhibition before halftime.
Venables also raised the possibility that a Sarkisian double has been coaching the rivalry. His evidence consisted of a blurry photograph, an orange quarter-zip and the observation that nobody has ever seen both men in the same corn-dog line.
Texas dismissed the proposal until someone mentioned the possibility of counting midway tickets toward the road-game attendance total.
An SEC scheduling representative has reportedly placed both schools on hold. The hold music is the sound of a Ferris wheel.
