Venables to play Sarkisian in best-of-3 Sudoku Challenge
Red River rivalry reduced to nine numbers. Both coaches demand a bye.
DALLAS — With neither side satisfied by the prospect of settling their differences through football, Brent Venables and Steve Sarkisian have agreed to a best-of-three Sudoku challenge at the Cotton Bowl, according to a joint announcement that took six timeouts to complete.
The format is straightforward: nine rows, nine columns and no repeated numbers. Both programs immediately requested clarification on whether that rule applies to losses.
“I like what we have defensively,” Venables said, pointing to a mostly blank grid. “Nobody is getting into that middle box. We have not allowed a single number in there all week.”
Sarkisian, meanwhile, described his approach as eight-dimensional chess. When reminded that the event was Sudoku, he accused the reporter of revealing his game plan.
Texas has reportedly retained three puzzle consultants and placed its starting pencil on a snap count. Oklahoma will counter with a laminated worksheet so large that four graduate assistants must hold it upright between moves.
The first dispute arose when Venables attempted to enter a zero.
“Sometimes you have to be comfortable putting nothing on the board,” he explained. “I am not going to apologize for our identity.”
Sarkisian requested permission to acquire a missing seven through the transfer portal. His staff later offered an undisclosed NIL package to a retired accountant from Plano who completed the Sunday puzzle before breakfast.
Arch Manning has been named the emergency eraser. OU officials declined to identify their backup, saying only that Kyle Clow had already submitted his daughter’s math homework.
Under the proposed rules, coaches may challenge a number, but replay officials can only determine whether it was written with sufficient confidence. Any appeal involving arithmetic will be referred to the conference office and returned marked “football-related matter.”
Game one will use an easy puzzle. Game two will move to medium if either coach finishes before the State Fair closes. A deciding third game would feature a single empty square and what organizers described as “an alarming amount of pressure.”
Fans have already begun chanting “SEC” around the table, making it impossible for either coach to count to nine.
At press time, both schools had announced contract extensions for reaching the final.
